The Power of Rituals - Building Personal Resilience Part 4
The Power of Rituals – How to Build Resilience Part 4
“We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence therefore, is not an act, but a habit.”
Goethe said that, and I couldn’t agree more.
For me, I find that the more I practice something, the better I get at it–and the better I get at something, the more I want to do it!
I believe there are three main reasons that explain why, when we’re good at something, we’re more motivated to do it:
1/ Mastery–we all strive to get better at something. It feels good to improve, to do something well. Daniel Pink writes about this in his book ‘Drive’.
2/ Ease–the better we get at something, the less effort it takes and, to some degree, we like to do those things that take less effort (the ‘path of least resistance’)
3/ “Oh, ya”—this is a technical term for those occasions when we experience something we like and say, “oh, ya…now I remember why I love this.”
Think about something you love to do. My guess is, you’re pretty good at that activity too. Chances are, whatever it is–be it math, golf, yoga, your job, there was a time when you may not have been as good at it. But over time, with practice, you got better and it became easier. This is the power of practice, or what I call rituals.
When we have an opportunity to practice those things most important to us, we experience life as more meaningful, important and fun. However, as we try to build those things back into our busy lives, we often just can’t seem to squeeze them in. We try once and give up. Well, as Anthony Robbins says, “you can’t go to the gym once, and expect to be fit for life.”
So how do we create a habit when things always seem to get in the way?
Here are five, easy steps:
1/ Pick one change you want to make and focus on that. For example, let’s say you want to take up running and learn a second language. You can certainly do both, but the most successful goal achievers pick one goal and begin with that. In this case, let’s say your chosen goal becomes, “I’ll take up running to improve my fitness.”
2/ Start small. I didn’t say ‘think small.’ Big goals are exciting and they stretch your comfort zone. For example, if your goal is to take up running and eventually run a marathon, you can do it! Just don’t start off running six milers, six days in a row. You’ll be setting yourself up for an injury or at the very least, burn out. Instead, ease into it. Create a practice that allows you to run consistently, and build up your running over time. *by the way, if fitness is your goal, try getting help from a certified trainer.
3/ Stay with it. If your new goal was so easy to achieve, you’d probably already be doing it. But we know that sometimes challenges get in the way, so don’t be surprised when they do. Stay with it.
Let’s say your goal is to walk at lunch three days a week. You walked on Monday and Wednesday, but then on Friday, you get pulled into a last-minute meeting. These things happen. Try a ‘walking meeting’ afterward to debrief the meeting. Go for a walk after work, or pick it up Saturday morning.
4/ Celebrate success! - even the small ones. For example, when you take that first walk at lunch, acknowledge what it took to do that; from scheduling it to perhaps having had to say ‘no’ to someone, to braving the rain, whatever it took to get you out there breathe fresh air–congratulate yourself..
Celebration doesn’t have to mean hiring a marching band. Choose something that’s right for you. It may be as simple as quietly saying to yourself, “’I did it, I knew I could.”
5/ Rinse and repeat: Whatever is helping you to create your new ritual, keep doing it. For example, I’ve created a ritual where, every morning when I wake up, I drink a full glass of crystal-clear water. Then I say to myself, “breakfast of champions”. I’ve started my day with life giving water, I’ve already completed a goal, which makes me feel competent, and I’ve reinforced a good habit. The more I do it, the easier it gets.
One more thing. Try setting a milestones. Though you may intend do your new habit–such as Yoga– for life, set your sites on the next seven days, or 1 month. This allows you to track progress, celebrate wins, and refocus for the next milestone.
To get you going right now, try starting here:
• What is one new habit you’d like to create? ___________________________________
• What is one small step you could take to start? ________________________________
• What is one challenge that might show up? ___________________________________
• What is one strategy that will help you move through this challenge? _____________________
• Who could you tell about– or invite to join you on–your journey? _________________________
• What is one way you will celebrate success? _________________________________
• What can you do to stay the course? ____________________________________
I’d love to hear about your new goals, success, and ‘failures’ too (trust me, I’ve had lots).
Email your experiences to me at matt@lidera.ca, and if you’d like me to follow up with you in support, just ask!
Once you even just define your ritual, you’ll be surprised at what you’re able to accomplish.
To possibilities for life! Matt